There are mixed feelings when it comes to antidepressants. Some people feel they are given too frequently to people who simply don’t understand that you can’t be happy all of the time. Others feel it is a necessary drug and many people do actually have the problem of a chemical imbalance in their brains. No matter which way you feel, I think we can all agree that taking medication is a serious matter and should not be taken lightly.
About two years into my treatment for chronic pain, it became painfully obvious that I was, in fact, depressed. I spent almost all day sleeping, was not a happy person, and frankly I had thought about suicide. I went to a psychologist and was prescribed an antidepressant as well as referred to an in house therapist. The medication (and therapy) did help some and I continued the medication up until my second surgery in November.
Unfortunately, after the second jaw surgery in November I had to discontinue it. Why you ask? Because we had to open the capsules and pour the little balls of medication into a suction feeding tube. This did not work. I don’t understand the physics of it, but it would just get stuck in the syringe and not come out the feeding tube. So I quite it cold turkey. This resulted in a week of crazy emotions and then I went back to feeling pretty normal. However, there are some differences I am noticing even eight weeks out.
I should give you a disclaimer that I have always been a crier. I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I’m mad, and I definitely cry when I’m sad. So being overly emotional is not a weird thing for me. However, I have been crying more than usual. I cry during every episode of every TV show I watch. I find something sad, or touching, or amazing…and I cry. Same thing goes for books. I also have days where I wake up angry. Like today. I’m angry deep inside and everyone is annoying the crap out of me. Get out of my way world because I’m pissed! This is especially bad since I have a first date tonight.
So my question is, why am I so damn emotional? Am I still feeling the effects of getting off of my antidepressants? Or is this how people, or more accurately I, would normally feel? Even worse, am I experiencing the heightened emotions because I’m still suffering from depression? I need to see yet another doctor.
Do you have an opinion on what’s going on with me? Or have you ever gone off antidepressants and know how I feel? Leave a comment and let me know.